Bullying Prevention Myths

(edited from the HRSA Stop Bullying Now! fact sheet). Click each myth to read the truth.
 

• Bullying is the same thing as conflict
• Most bullying is physical
• Bullying isn’t serious. It’s just a matter of kids being kids
• Bullying doesn’t happen at our school
• Bullying is mostly a problem in urban schools
• Bullying is more likely to happen on the bus than at school
• Children and youths who are bullied almost always tell an adult
• Bullied kids need to learn how to deal with bullying on their own
• Most children and youths who observe bullying don’t want to get involved

Bullying is the same thing as conflict.
Any two people can have a conflict, but bullying occurs when there is a power imbalance—where one child has a hard time defending himself or herself. Trying to “resolve” bullying as if it is a conflict can send the message that both parties are partly to blame. That is not the appropriate message because in cases of bullying someone is being victimized.

Most bullying is physical.
Physical bullying including hitting, shoving and kicking is one form of bullying, but the most common form is actually verbal bullying (name-calling, rumor-spreading). It is also common for youth to bully each other through social isolation by leaving someone out intentionally.

Bullying isn’t serious. It’s just a matter of kids being kids.
Bullying can be extremely serious and can affect academic performance, mental well-being and physical health of children who are targeted. In fact, some emotional scars can be long-lasting. Research suggests that adults who were bullied as children are more likely than their non-bullied peers to be depressed and have low self-esteem.

Bullying doesn’t happen at our school.
Bullying can happen anywhere children and youth gather. It is more likely to occur at schools without a bullying prevention program implemented or where adult supervision is limited. The best way to found out about bullying at your school is to ask children and youth in a small group meeting or via an anonymous survey where bullying occurs, when and how often.

Bullying is mostly a problem in urban schools.
Bullying occurs in rural, suburban and urban communities in all geographic regions and among children of every race and income level.

Bullying is more likely to happen on the bus than at school.
Most surveys indicate that bullying is more likely to occur on school grounds in common locations such as the playground, the cafeteria, bathrooms, hallways and even classrooms! It is imperative that all school faculty and staff be educated about bullying prevention practices.

Children and youths who are bullied almost always tell an adult.
Adults are often unaware of incidents of bullying. Most studies find that only 25 to 50 percent of bullied children talk to an adult about it. The reasons? They may fear the situation will worsen if the bully finds out they have told or that adults won’t take their concerns seriously or won’t be able to remedy the situation.

Bullied kids need to learn how to deal with bullying on their own.
Children shouldn’t be expected to “deal with” bullying on their own. Bullying is a form of peer abuse and those who are bullied are victims. Society believes victims of other types of abuse deserve help and so do those who are bullied.

Most children and youths who observe bullying don’t want to get involved.
The good news is that most children and youths think bullying is wrong and that they should do something if they see it happen. Sometimes, however, they aren’t sure what to do or say. It is important as adults that we provide peer bystanders with a wide range of realistic, safe and effective options for action (Stan Davis).